Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
