I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
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