I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
