That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Randomize
