I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
