u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
