Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Welp...herpes.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
