her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
