this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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