Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
