I wish I could teleport
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I just got carded by a ten year old.
i think my cat just said my name.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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