similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
They have beer where we have blood.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
