When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
