Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
