His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
