I CAN MOONWALK!
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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