I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
