I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize