As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Randomize
