were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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