D3 body, D1 cock
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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