so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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