I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
