Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
