I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
