that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
