i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
