it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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