At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize