It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Randomize
