this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
