I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
