so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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