well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
