So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
