Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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