dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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