You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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