So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
