PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Randomize
