just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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