She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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