I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
