Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
