He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Randomize
