If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
