i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
