Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
