I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
