you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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