i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Its about making memories worth repressing
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
