Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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