I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
