DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
