I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
