She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I fill condoms, not promises.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
