I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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