I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
ok first of all what the fuck
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
