And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
