I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
His hands were made for my vagina.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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