Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
