what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
