I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
