Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize