Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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