Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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