i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
