I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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